New Definitions

• School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
• Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
• Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
• Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
• Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
• Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
• Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
• Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
• Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
• Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
• Father: A banker provided by nature.
• Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
• Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
• Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
• Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
• Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
• Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
• Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
• Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do..
• Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
• Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
• Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
• Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death